REDEFINING NORMAL

I was letting my freshly applied peroxide set under the dryer this past weekend and reached for the closest magazine to entertain me.  I picked up the June Issue of Marie Claire and was immediately intrigued by a story titled "Love and the Single Girl".  The five page article went on to discuss the various perspectives between generations on the meaning of being a successful and single female in her young adult years.  The commentary was intriguing and contained many specific notes that I would like to take the time to share with hope that it will influence your frame of mind as we all struggle right now to redefine "Normal" when it comes to the lifestyle of a woman.

It is no secret that in our Grandparents' generation the value of a woman was most likely placed on her ability to be a good wife.  Perhaps this stereotype might apply to our parent's generation as well.  However, at some point in the last 30 years women have been experiencing a shift in educational opportunities which, in my opinion, is the ultimate force behind success and power.  According to an article by USA Today, posted in October of 2005, 57% of college graduates were female.  More striking, perhaps, is the counterpart to this statistic which states that only 43% of college graduates in 2005 were men.  This pursuit of education for young women can ultimately lead to expanding career opportunities and, most likely, a drive to be successful and embrace ambition. 

I can't speak in broad sweeping terms as it wouldn't be appropriate so I will simply speak from my own experiences.  I don't recall my mother ever telling me stories in which her parents encouraged her to be ambitious.  Nor are there stories in which she was encouraged to outline a long term career path and set personal goals.  In contrast, I am lucky to have parents that encourage, and frankly require, me and my siblings to pursue education and then to find excitement and energy in our chosen careers so that we find a sense of self worth in our accomplishments that were earned through hard work and dedication.  Not all members of society, ranging from our grandparents' generation to even our peers, agree with putting the pursuit of marriage in the back seat and placing our career in the co-pilot's chair. 

The article in Marie Claire presented a quote by Rush Limbaugh from March of 2012 in which he stated, "What is it with all these young, single white women?"  The article then effectively made the case for what some consider to be the "traditional path" of pursuing marriage as an evolving concept and its evolution is not to be feared -- but embraced.  Marie Claire then stated "But here's a surprising truth that gets lost in all the fuss:  Women staying single longer is good news for --of all things-- marriage!  The divorce rate is going down, especially for people who marry later in life".   

I am not here to encourage all young woman to 'push off marriage' for ten years simply for the sake of fulfilling a stereotype that is quickly becoming the new normal.  Rather, I would encourage all of us to simply keep an open mind and realize that 'Normal' means something different to everyone.  Some may find lasting happiness in young love and others may wait to commit to marriage until their 30's or 40's.  Either way, we should be a united voice in saying that each person is to be encouraged to follow the beat of their own drum without needing to apologize to society for not crossing milestones in a timeline defined by those around them. 

So to dear Rush Limbaugh, I am happy to be a part of a community that is redefining the path we travel when considering marriage.  I think that these young, professional, single females are a gift and -- for our future -- a force to be reckoned with.  In fact, Rush might want to see these ladies as leaders and change makers -- and to learn something from them.  I'm sure his next wife might appreciate it seeing as how he has left a trail of 3 ex wives behind him already.