Fish Out of Water

This past weekend I attended my 10 year High School Reunion -- and let me tell you, it was quite the experience.  I was asked THREE times if I was engaged (!!).  I finally started holding my drink with my left hand so that there was immediate indication of a missing disco ball on my all significant ring finger.  I really don't know where this inquiry came from -- but considering the somewhat recent breakup, it felt like salt sprinkled into a healing wound.  My initial reaction was that of self pity as I looked around the room at the number of engaged/married/pregnant women that appeared to be on a life path that I had once envisioned for myself as a little girl.  There was once a plan and it involved getting married at 25, having kids at 28, and then taking on some incredible CEO role once the kids were in school full-time.  I think this plan came from watching too much Disney Channel and the Cosby Show.

Mid-way through the event a moment of inspiration occurred that turned my attitude right around.  I was standing in a circle of classmates and one of the girls was asked about her marriage status and her response was an upbeat "Happily single!".  My 'Fish Out of Water' pity party suddenly felt a bit ridiculous as I realized that I too was happily single!  Regardless of whether or not life was going 'according to plan', I enjoy the life that has been given to me and am starting to really enjoy (and even take advantage of!) my newly single status.

The following day I attended a baby shower and after spending an hour sitting around girls talking about things like the difference between a one-sy and a sleeper -- and somehow finding a way to use the word "cute" in every sentence  -- I retreated to the kitchen and found the hostess who was reaching for the secret bottle of white wine stashed in the refrigerator.  She kindly poured me a glass and the two of us sat in the courtyard to visit and I realized very quickly that feeling like a 'Fish out of Water' can happen all throughout life.  My girlfriend has been happily married for three years, but now is fielding frequent questions and pressure from friends and family about having kids.  She and her husband are enjoying married life, yet all of their other married friends have started having a family so the pressure for them to follow suite has become increasingly stressful.  I felt for her and remembered my frustrations from the night before as I shot down all questions about the non-existent 'Special Someone' in my life.

I think that it is a blend of societal pressures and simply our human nature that compels us to be competitive.  We tend to look outward for points of comparison and not inward to recognize what blessings exist in our lives and what makes us truly happy.  Today, I am happily single and celebrating the love and support of family and friends that accept me for exactly where I am.

I don't normally use this platform to speak about religion, but I have to include the statement that I firmly believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us.  Sometimes this plan is not in alignment with our own plan for our lives, but that is why we must have faith.

Tonight I am going to leave the office and not think about the chapters in life that I am not yet living, but instead relish the time at hand.