Last Thursday was one of those great Southern California days in which the sun was shining, the air was crisp, and you can feel that fall is just around the corner. I was feeling great having successfully tackled a few meetings in Los Angeles and was beginning to daydream about the weekend ahead and how much I was looking forward to spending time celebrating various friendships. While en route back to Orange County a text came through from the Ex. "If you're curious as to why I wasn't super keen to talk to you last night [note: day after business function run-in], it was because I realized only 45 minutes earlier that you had defriended me on FB. Not sure why you did that."
My head immediately starts spinning and the hormone levels are rising. Not sure why you did that?! Well, for starters, we aren't friends anymore! We met, you quickly became my boyfriend, and now you are simply my ex boyfriend. Suffice it to say, I don't really feel like being your friend on Facebook when you aren't my friend in real life! It then dawned on me that the only reason he would know I had 'de-friended' him is because he sought out my Facebook page and was essentially rejected. Ha. I took some satisfaction in that. But then the overall question still lingered...has our use of Stalker-Net gone too far? Is it detracting our lives as we experience the occasional emotional tail-spin from feeling inadequate when comparing our own life with those presented on the Facebook Newsfeed?
Friday afternoon had finally arrived and it came to my attention, through a mutual 'friend', that the Ex had gone to San Francisco and was out on the town with his guy friends -- who then took the liberty to post these social outings on their FB pages and ultimately in my Newsfeed. I will admit that the sight of these pictures still made my heart feel a pang of sadness and longing.
Now here I was on Friday night with plans to spend time with great girlfriends all weekend via dinners, baby showers, double dates (a story for another day), and hikes...and my mind kept wandering to someone's wall post on Facebook?! I was no longer 100% focused on the blessings appearing right in front of me, but instead my mind was lingering in places that were full of 'updates and activities' and a truly ambiguous state of mind for people participating as this form of media strips all emotion from the equation.
I look back on this past weekend realizing that I have so much to be thankful for in my life and any thoughts of distress or sadness are a direct result of the airbrush effect presented by things like Facebook that initially came about by some digital artist working for Vogue magazine who was once told by the photographed star "I'd like you to make me look flawless".
Today I am taking a stance to focus on my own life's activities and opportunities rather than be entertained by the posts of others. I am allowing myself to remain on Facebook, but only to respond to the communication sent my way. Until my Emotional Bank Account reaches that $42,000 mark, I am no longer going to 'browse' pictures or news-feeds. I will instead spend that time writing a thoughtful note to a friend, practicing yoga, or maybe even being more productive at work. I am not saying that everyone should boycott Facebook, but perhaps we should take the time every now and then to thoughtfully process the influence that it has on our lives and if we are comfortable with it or if change is in order.
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