I have a remarkable
friend that is about 6 years older than me whom I affectionately call my
'friendtor'. She consistently provides
amazing advice and insight on my life from the perspective of someone just
slightly older and wiser, and having recently experienced such chapters in her
own life. She never judges my stories of
a wild night out in Hollywood, or a lonely Friday night in with TiVo, and instead
responds with "I love living vicariously through you and encourage you to
make the most of this particular chapter in life." While I know she finds my stories from this
current chapter titled 'Adventures in Dating' to be highly entertaining, I also
know that she is wholly fulfilled and happy holding her sixth month hold baby
boy in one arm and a martini glass in the other at home on a Saturday
night. She made the most of her
Adventures in Dating chapter and is now so very grateful to be living out her
mommyhood chapter.
There is one
particular conversation that we tend to revisit on a quarterly basis and the
happenings of this past weekend brought it to mind. Let me first set the stage by acknowledging
that I had a completely self indulgent weekend filled with pampering and socializing. I started the weekend enjoying a long and
late dinner celebrating a girlfriend's birthday at one of the newer LA restaurant
establishments. The following day
consisted of hot yoga, a facial, and then a late chardonnay lunch poolside in a
cabana with another late night dinner with girlfriends rounding out the full
twenty four hours. My decisions were my
own and my lifestyle could easily be considered selfish.
When describing my
weekend frolics to a friend I started to feel a pang of guilt. Is this really the life I should be living
right now? Not every weekend is so self
serving, but it is a pretty consistent trend that my decision making is focused
around my own pursuits and desires without the complications of a significant
other or family to consider. And then I
thought of the advice I frequently receive from my 'friendtor' whenever I tell
her I'm pining to move fast in a relationship and play house once and for all. She loves to playfully remind me that this
chapter is truly 'Once in a Lifetime' and when it does change, it will be
changed for good so live in the moment and don't try so hard to just rush past
it.
So to all of my
single twenty-something females out there, I encourage you to live in your
moment without guilt or regret or longing for a future that has not yet played
out. This time is yours and is probably
the last time life will grant you such freedoms and opportunity. Indulge in the occasion to serve yourself so
that one day when you are holding a baby on the hip you will look back fondly
at the nights out on the town or spa days and know that they were wonderful and
perfectly set in that chapter. The next
chapter may be full of new dynamics centered around responsibility and
accountability and that one should be appreciated in its own right as well.
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your
life that count. It’s the life in your years.” - Abraham Lincoln
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