THE CHALLENGE: DAY 30!

Are You Willing...?

Well, we finally made it.  Welcome to Day 30 of the 30 Day Challenge!  It's been a long and windy road this past year, but we have finally arrived to our destination. 

I began writing the 30 Day Challenge towards the end of the holiday season last year with the intention of providing a small set of daily notes to help motivate and move my readers.  Now we are at the end of one journey with the beginning of another just around the corner -- 2013 and the beginning of a new calendar year will be here in the blink of an eye!

This past weekend I heard an inspiring talk by a local pastor and I immediately took note of some key points knowing that they would be entirely relatable to this 30th and final entry date.  The topic was on 'Movement in Community' and he posed two questions to the audience that I want to now pose to you:  1) Do you know your own skills and talents?  AND 2) Are you willing?

Every learned writer knows to never provide an adjective without a subject -- so perhaps you are now irritated and asking me "Willing for what?"  Rephrase it.  "Willing to DO what?"

The first entry for this series is dated nearly 12 months ago in December of 2011 and the discussion is intended to lay the groundwork for self improvement and strong self awareness that will lead to creating new habits in a new year.  We talked about exercise, healthy eating, meditating, praying, talking, listening, writing, sitting, and the list goes on...  My favorite tip and reminder will still get a plug even in this final entry:  Drink more water!

Through the 30 entries that make up the 30 Day Challenge you have been given the opportunity to read as a spectator and absorb stories and life lessons that span (hopefully!) from entertaining to life changing.  I now come back to this final question and challenge of the series:  "Are you willing?" 

Are you willing to take this information and DO something with it?  Are you willing to get in the game and step off the sidelines?  Are you willing to take action and prepare to influence your own life as well as the world around you?

If I have accomplished nothing else in these last 11 months, it is my sincere hope that I have inspired you to say YES.  Yes, you deserve a fulfilling life.  Yes, you can make the time for some more 'personal time'.  Yes, you are willing and ready to take action. 

This life will throw words like busy, hard, and tired in your path. There will be plenty of reasons to grab hold of and then be used as an excuse for not getting in the game.  You are stronger, and now hopefully wiser, than to succumb to the path of least resistance.

I plan to live a life in which I feel set apart and capable of transcending the mundane. And I sincerely hope that you have the fight in you to do the same.

 "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

-- e.e. cummings

The Challenge - Day 30

Physical

You are given only one body in this life and it wasn't exactly intended to be altered and adjusted by doctors and their scalpels.  Treat it like a temple, or at least as well as the fancy and expensive car you hope to have last well beyond its average driving mileage.  Use the right fuel (eat healthy!), tune it up (exercise!), and don't be afraid to give it some TLC (manicures and massages count).

Personal

It is so easy, and very commendable, to get lost in spending your time serving and nurturing others.  Take a moment, ideally once a day, to look inward and think selfishly.  Think about your own hopes and desires for the day, for the week, or for this life.  You deserve to have personal priorities and goals -- that's the easy part.  Making time to works towards accomplishing them is the true challenge.  Give it your best shot because the 'try' is the first step in the right direction.

Spiritual

This world is a big, messed up, and often confusing place.  I know that there is a power greater than me capable of seeing a much bigger picture beyond the one encapsulated by the frame of my personal life.  I plan to continue to trust in that big picture and such hope is what my spirituality is really all about -- faith of the unknown.  

It's Awkward. Now Take It In.

THE CHALLENGE Day 29

Upbeat.  Fun loving.  Supportive.  Positive.  Outgoing.  Social. 

It's fair to say that these are all characteristics that my friends and family would typically use to describe my personality and I, admittedly, take pride in such remarks.  I enjoy embracing life and the opportunities that it can present along with making time to be with family and friends all the time in my everyday life.  This is my normal. 

These last couple of weeks have been far from normal.  They have been hard and stressful and emotionally draining with few moments of reprieve to simply take a deep breath and re-energize.  I haven't felt like my usual self and started to really stress out about this -- on top of everything else.  I was describing this unsettling feeling to my Life Coach and she looked at me, dead on, and basically said 'Get Over It'.  Um, excuse me? 

You see, I have been treading through waters that are a bit of a 'doldrums' period and it is incredibly unfamiliar and uncomfortable.  My life coach described it well when she used the word 'Awkward'.  She then told me that these seasons in life are necessary and are not to be overlooked simply because they are uncomfortable.  I must take in the awkwardness and use it as a teaching moment.  Life, at its own pace, will work past this season and all will return to what I prefer as my 'normal'.

This is no easy task for someone with strong ambition and a desire to lead by example in life.  My persona is inclined to say, "No, not me.  I will not be weak.  I will seize the day and not care about such troubles!"  Insert image of a Joan of Arc figure meshed with a naively optimistic Disney Princess here: ...

What I am learning is that such a response isn't exactly healthy nor is it productive.  So for now, I am doing my best to follow the advice of my Life Coach.  If I'm not in the mood to go to a bar or a birthday party or happy hour because my emotional energy isn't at a place to make conversation with people then that's ok.  If I don't feel like smiling every day for a period of time then that's ok.  It's not normal and it IS awkward, but that's all ok.  After all, this too shall pass.

THE CHALLENGE DAY 29

Physical

I do find then when I'm not in the mood to rise to the occasion for exercise then I find solace in cooking healthy food.  Physical activity is great for bringing fresh oxygen into the blood, but we can also experience incredible health benefits by simply watching what we eat and drinking plenty of water.  For now, that's my focus and I'll return to yoga and surfing when I regain my energy.

Personal

The 'doldrums' are a normal part of life and are intended to be temporary.  Like anything else in life, don't just run past it but instead embrace it.  What period of life are you experiencing right now?  Are you looking around and living in the moment?  Or are you looking down the road and missing the life that exists right around you?

Spiritual

Faith is huge when it comes to processing periods of life that are less than pleasant and fare 'ok' at best.  It is the faith and belief in something or someone bigger than us that enables us to release some of the weight burdening our hearts and minds.  Have you ever read the poem Footprints?  Look it up whenever you are craving some wind into your spiritual sails.  I do believe in someone capable of carrying me down the path when I could not feel strong enough to walk on my own.

A House of Cards

THE CHALLENGE - DAY 28

House of Cards

I've never actually built a house of cards -- card games weren't really my thing as a kid.  But I've seen it done in movies and I have this visual of a delicately built structure with edges less than a millimeter wide responsible for maintaining perfect balance.  If one card becomes loose, or even wobbly, then the whole house falls to the floor. 

Last week I had a card fall out of my house and, subsequently, everything seems to have come crashing down with it.  I have spent the last 29 years making careful decisions to build a house that is strong and graceful.  Perhaps, even with the desire for outsiders to see it as flawless.  Then, a bend in the road occurred and the perfection was shattered.  I spent the first few days mourning the loss of 'the house'.  I spent hours shedding tears over the mess and wondering what to do with it.  You see, the house of cards metaphor is all about 'the fall'.

I knew that I needed a moment of mental turnaround, but sometimes it's just easier to cry and feel sad about loss and disaster.  In the midst of my emotional roller coaster, a friend sent me a song to help lift my spirits and the lyrics are truly inspiring.  The track is titled 'Forces of the Unseen' and the chorus reveals a poem of strength and inspiration: "I'm gonna make it through, you'll see.  I swear I'll prove you wrong.  You haven't seen the last of me.  I am way too strong." 

Here's the silver lining with the House of Cards analogy:  you still have all the cards.  Granted, things need to be rebuilt and it's going to take time and patience and strength to persevere.  It certainly won't be easy.  But it's not impossible either.  I'm going to have to rebuild and find that balance and vision, but if I just sit back crying and staring at the mess then I won't be doing anything productive. 

The next time life blows wind through your house of cards and it feels like everything is crashing down just take a moment and tell yourself:  I'm gonna make it through, you'll see.  I swear I'll prove you wrong.  You haven't seen the last of me.  I am way too strong.

THE CHALLENGE - DAY 28

Physical

Don't ever give up on your physical well being.  There will be times that you are sidelined or you get off track for so long that it feels like you're not even sure where to start back up again.  Perseverance can be applied to so many things in life -- including lifestyle habits.  If you've fallen off course then just find the strength to get back on it.  Plain and simple.

Personal

If you are a frequent reader of The Challenge then you might find the following commentary repetitive -- but I come back to this topic because it truly is so critical in how we live our lives.  Hardship in life is inevitable.  It is in our reactions and perspective that we will reveal our true self.  Rise to the challenges and be aware of your frame of mind.  It is the most powerful force in guiding you through what lies ahead.

   

Spiritual

I attended a new church this past weekend and the pastor focused on a topic that I hadn't really heard much about before in a sermon.  He focused on Community.  We are wired to be a part of a community and we seek it out in various ways.  Whether you belong to a community of sports fans, a community of faith, or even just a neighborhood community focused on supportive relationships -- you are a member of a larger group.  Don't be afraid to lean on that group for support and inspiration.  American culture focuses on the individual and the power of independent strength.  I'm not against this message at all, but I also don't want to see us remove ourselves from community.  Indulge in the surrounding support when you need it.  I know that I wouldn't have made it through this week without my community helping to lift me up.

The Challenge & Car-ma

I've had the same car for the last 4 1/2 years and this morning I am handing over the keys.  I was 25 years old when I received a significant pay increase at my swanky Beverly Hills real estate investment group and I went out and bought myself a BMW X5.  It was safe, luxurious, and my commute was about 1.2 miles each way so gas mileage was a moot point.  It was my first major purchase of my young adult life and I negotiated the whole deal myself.  About a year later I was laid off from that same swanky Beverly Hills firm and the one thing that stayed with me as I left all keys with reception was my car key.  It was time for new chapters and new adventures and me and my silver truck were going to hit the road together.

We went all over LA  from Downtown in the East to Malibu in the West for dinners with girlfriends in tow to dozens of job interviews.  We traveled to Las Vegas, San Francisco, San Diego, Paso Robles, San Luis Obispo, and at least a half dozen times to Palm Springs.  We experienced and survived three significant breakups and drove off leaving only our taillights as a farewell sign.  To say there is some sentimental value attached to this otherwise basic steel box with an engine is an understatement of gigantic proportions. 

My recent move has led to a 40 mile, each way, commute.  This, coupled with gas prices climbing towards $5.00 per gallon, have led to me to sell the SUV and invest in a more sensible hybrid vehicle.  It's the right thing to do and makes a ton of sense.  Also, it's just a car!  But then...why am I so sad and feeling as if I am saying farewell to a dear friend?

Change is hard and often intimidating.  The unknown lies ahead and can be perceived as fearful, but with a slight shift in perspective it can also be exciting. 

My mom made the comment to me that she can empathize with my sentimental response to this exchange of vehicles in my life as she thinks her car can bring her good luck...or bad.  I'm not sure what my car-ma would be for the last 4 1/2 years.  It has certainly been an adventure filled with various highs and lows influenced by the fact that it has been the most strenuous economic period of our lifetime.  Maybe changing it up isn't such a terrible thing.  It's an election year, I'm turning 30, and wouldn't mind the feeling of some wind at my back as I look forward to new adventures.  So here's to hoping that Toyota makes cars with great car-ma!   

The Challenge - Day 27

Physical

It's easy to stick with what is familiar.  Change can be uncomfortable or hard, but also full of surprising results.  Change up your workout routine and see what happens.  Even if you just give it a week before returning to more familiar habits. 

Personal

I often avoid major changes until I feel compelled to take action -- or perhaps the Universe takes action for me and I am suddenly in the throes of change (hello, layoffs).  Is there anything in your life right now that you have thought about changing but are too afraid to do so?  Perhaps it is the status of your job, romantic relationship, living situation...you name it!  I dare you to make a change and be open to what might happen next.

Spiritual

I am actually not going to step in and preach about changing your spiritual habits.  Rather, I think that praying about change can be a very powerful activity.  Someone once shared with me "Where thoughts go, energy flows".  Pray, or just meditate, about being open to the change that might be pulling on your heart strings or circling your mind.  Being mentally prepared is half the battle.

The Challenge -- Take Off Those Boxing Gloves

The Challenge - Day 26

Every week I write about the daily battles, challenges, and pursuits that I face in life with hope that the reader can either relate or at least be amused.  I believe in being a strong woman and doing our best to face these matters by flexing our ever-strong heart muscles and minds.  This weekend, my perspective shifted as I realized that being strong should never overshadow the ability to love, let go, and be vulnerable. 

I recently watched a very sweet and charming movie titled "Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding."  The lead character is a woman, said to be a Virgo (that hits close to home!), who prides herself on being a successful lawyer in Manhattan.  Her mother is a total hippie living in Woodstock and the lead character's newly announced divorce leads her to take her two kids for a week long getaway to find 'Love in Woodstock'.  This woman is constantly trying to maintain structure in life, keep her kids on the straight and narrow, and simply cannot endorse the pot-dealing and love-seeking lifestyle of her hippie mother.  The leading man is introduced into the story and he immediately asks her "Why are you constantly battling?".  Without missing  a beat she responds with, "I'm a lawyer.  And to be a good lawyer you must always have your fists up."  The man responds with, "But the people you are battling aren't actually fighting back.  You're boxing shadows."

As I watched the credits roll, I couldn't help but look inward and process this subtle message.  How often are we rising to the challenge versus battling adversaries that we created in our own minds?  Are we just boxing shadows some days?  There is a time to raise the fists and know that you can 'beat this' or 'overcome that' but there is also a time to take off the gloves and just be vulnerable.  We can't walk through life thinking that everyone is swinging a fist -- especially if there is love desperately trying to wrap its arms around us. 

The Challenge - Day 26

Physical

I am a huge fan of yoga and a key component to a successful yoga practice is breathing.  I challenge you to take a deep breath, right now, and fill your lungs to capacity and then just let it go.  You will feel fresh oxygen pump into your body as you release all of the stale air that we slowly hold on to each day.  Take a moment to do this three times in a row just once and day -- you will be surprised at the actual physical impact of such a simple release.

Personal

Every day we face various life challenges.  Who are your constant battles?  Your kids?  Your boss? Your mother?  Your significant other?  And now, when was the last time that you took a step back to truly evaluate that relationship.  Are you picking your battles wisely or holding up your fists all day long?  Let go and put down the fists.  Now try and see the light in that relationship and focus your mind on the good while managing your reaction to the bad.

Spiritual

I sometimes find myself picking battles with LIFE.  Things that I find to be frustrating, or not materializing fast enough, or simply unfair.  The most powerful thing to do with battles that are beyond our control is to let go.  Do you have anything that you hold on to with a grip so tight that your knuckles might be white and fingers strained from the tension?  Let it go and give it up to who/what serves as the higher power in your life.  The world presents enough for us to take on -- no need to create additional battles of the mind.

"Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go."  -- Sylvia Robinson

THE CHALLENGE - DAY 25

"Add More ~ing to Your Life."  Is this statement at all familiar to you?  Perhaps you have seen this title on a bookshelf at Barnes and Noble or in your iBooks catalogue.  The cover features a petite blonde standing on a skateboard in the middle of Times Square and wearing angel wings.  It was the first book written by Gabriel Bernstein back in 2010 and it was a total game changer for me. 

The message of  'Add More ~ing to Your Life' is to bring an active lifestyle to the forefront of your mind and associate physical activity with positive thinking.  Running, jumping, writing, meditating...all powerful forces for bringing fresh oxygen into the blood.  Then, couple that with a focused mind on things like envisioning dreams, forgiving those that have hurt us, or simply an attitude of gratitude.  With authentic intentions and real effort this can be pretty powerful stuff. 

My sister gave me Gabby's book when I was in the midst of a terrible breakup and struggling to get past all of the hurt and pain that it had brought into my life.  I can tell you, without a doubt, that Gabby's book was instrumental in guiding me to focus my mind and body on positive thinking and, ultimately, the road to new beginnings.  Grow through it -- one of my favorite mantra's of that chapter in life.   

I was thrilled to see Gabby speak live, for the first time, this past weekend.  She talked about some of her favorite tools in navigating life and referenced personal experience.  'A Course in Miracles' is at the heart of her teachings and she is able to make the philosophical components of it relevant and real.  There are so many great 'nuggets' that I was able to take away and I hope to share them all with you over time. 

When thinking about the article for today, my mind immediately went to "The Challenge" that Gabby presented to all of us in attendance at the West Hollywood studio.  She challenged us to set aside 5 minutes per day for 40 days straight to sit in stillness and just breathe.  Essentially, a morning moment to set the intention for the day.  This might sound a little 'hippie dippy' to you, but it doesn't have to be ridiculous.  I'm not saying that you have to sit cross legged with wind chime music or chanting in the background.  I'm not against any of that, but I also realize that the stereotypical quiet time is associated with some sort of 'Granola Yoga' weirdo stuff.  Get past your initial judgment and just trust me on this.

You might be thinking, "Sorry, but I don't have even 5 minutes to simply turn off life in the morning.  I have kids to dress, traffic to face, or emails to return."  I get it.  I am not a morning person and this is going to be tough for me too.  But if you really want to see how life can transform through the power of listening then MAKE the time.  We can't be ready to receive miracles if we don't have the lenses to see them.  The best way to prepare yourself to receive miracles moments is to open your eyes and ears in the stillness.  The noise of this world can drown out so much goodness and it is up to you to make the time to turn it off, even if for just 5 minutes.

I'm not going to outline this week's challenge steps.  You know what you need to do.  It's up to you to MAKE it happen. 

THE CHALLENGE - DAY 24

LISTEN UP!

I went out to dinner night with a friend last week and enjoyed a long evening of eating, drinking, and gabbing.  Our meal lasted a couple of hours and we each had two glasses of wine.  Then we went to a neighborhood gem of a bar next door for an after dinner drink and casually sipped a cocktail while continuing to hang out for a couple of hours.  So here's the math:  two glasses of wine and one cocktail over a four hour period that included dinner.  And guess what, when I saw him again THE NEXT DAY he referenced things in our conversation from the night before that I simply didn't remember.  I felt awful and somewhat embarrassed.  How could that be?  I certainly couldn't blame it on the alcohol -- it was a tame night with reasonable consumption!

The next day I was sitting on the back patio with my housemate and two friends of his that were staying with us from Michigan.  It was the tail end of their 5 day stay with us and we had found time throughout the week to visit and enjoy some of the beach weather together.  At one point during our time on this final day my housemate referenced "Megan" in his story.  My first thought was, "Who's Megan?"  The girl sitting next to me, our house guest for the last four days, spoke up in response.  My next thought, "Oh my gosh!  She's Megan!  I didn't know her name this whole week!"  I am entirely confident that my inability to learn her name wasn't from a lack of introductions.

It doesn't take a forensics specialist to conclude that I'm clearly not listening to the people, and life, happening right in front of me!  I can't illustrate an exact road map outlining where my mind actually is traveling during these moments, but I would guess it is someplace between the towns of "To Do Listing", "Men/Dating", and "Fall Fashion".

I plan to work on my active listening skills this week and, assuming you can relate to any element of the stories I've shared, would encourage you to do the same!

THE CHALLENGE - DAY 24

Physical
Our bodies can have a lot to say about guiding us towards improved physical  health.  The stomach grumble, the sore muscles, slumped shoulders, or achy feet.  We all know these physical indicators are directions for us to take -- but are we listening?  Be an active listener with your body this week and when you hear or feel the signs -- take action!  My guess is that your body will say something like "Drink more water, please.  And maybe shove a little less sugar in me."

Personal
I will be the first to admit that I don't always listen to the little voice inside of me.  That thing that we probably refer to as 'The Female Intuition'.  When I do listen, I know that the power of the Female Intuition is a force to be reckoned with!  But often, the voice is not in alignment with some agenda of mine so I ignore it.  I challenge you to listen to that intuitive voice and respond accordingly.  It's there for a reason and we might be closing ourselves off to new opportunity by ignoring it.

Spiritual
Prayer is a very powerful way to speak to the God or Greater Power that you believe to exist.  For me, I typically find my mind will run on in prayer like it is a therapy session or perhaps deliver a laundry list of "asks" with a heart felt Please and Thank You in the end.  When was the last time you sat in silence and worked to simply listen?  Some might see this as dedicated meditation -- which it is -- but truly clear your mind and don't meditate on anything beyond keeping an open mind and heart to listen in the silence.