SPEAK UP!

Speak Up!

I was pouring over love, life, and end of year career goals with a dear friend (red wine was certainly involved) and she made an anecdotal comment about interactions with her boyfriend of the last 6 months.  She plainly said "I've learned that I simply need to be direct and ask for the things that I would like to see and he is typically very responsive and receptive."  Imagine that -- being direct and asking for what you want, or dare we say deserve (!), from relationships.  A simple, yet brilliant, expression that is entirely underrated in life.

Often, my writing centers around the topic of dating and relationships so you might be thinking that this isn't applicable to the single ladies.  I will now take this concept a bit further and use it as a more universal approach to an assortment of relationships in life. 

My brother sent out an email to my sister and I earlier this week and it was so typical 'Simple Man' that I literally laughed out loud in reading it.

               "Dear Barbie & Skipper -- what would you each like for Christmas this year?  Please don't say 'oh                                             nothing' because then nobody wins." 

The holidays are a time of gift giving as a token of appreciation for the people that have played a significant role in our lives throughout the course of the past year.  It is also a time to look forward at the year ahead and identify goals and aspirations to then be used as benchmarks as we attempt to navigate the road of life.  I rarely speak with specific direction towards the more intimate relationships in my life, yet, I admittedly have no problem making specific requests of my work subordinates and colleagues so that they can clearly understand what I will need in order for our relationship to be successful. 

I must confess that I am pretty darn sure that certain non-work related relationships would grow tremendously if I did take such initiative in being more direct.  Now, I am not recommending that we place demands on people in life and stand by a line with our arms crossed in defiance.  No, not at all.  I am simply reminding all of us that being a clear communicator is critical to the success of ANY relationship and sometimes the more intimate ones are easily overlooked in this department.

I responded to my brother's email with a blend of holiday gift ideas ranging from Taylor Swift concert tickets and backstage passes to portable speakers for my iPod.  My brother told me that he probably can't come up with the Taylor Swift passes -- but hey, at least I asked!  Keep in mind that asking for what you want is as important as realizing that sometimes the response to your request is a gentle 'No'.